Birds had bank accounts

I realised the other day, as I rode in the dark, that I had failed completely to provide any sort of summary of my year for 2010. A list of the highs and lows, the wins and loses, what songs moved me, what books made me ponder, what films I had wept at, what food satisfied. Most remiss of me, but rest assured now, I'm not about to trot any of those hoary old lists out now, especially since it is February.

Instead, I want you, yes you, the reader, to tell me of your favourite piece of road to ride. What it is that makes it so pleasurable, why return and whether you drag others through zealously. It doesn't have to be a piece of road you train on every week, it doesn't even need to be in your town, but it does need to be a piece of road that tugs at you.

For me there it a long list of such roads, but if I had to list the definitive five I should have a crack at it now. This list is in no particularly order.

Dunedin to Waitati - A big, steady climb either way, long fun descents, fantastic views and quiet, traffic free roads. The vista on the top is as good as anywhere in the country, and it's a ride that lends itself to solitude.

Carter Road, Auckland - A steady climb that is not steep, can be ridden in almost any state of fitness and has real satisfaction as it unfolds. Plus it's bush lined, so the wind really doesn't maul you, there are often people walking who will say 'Hello", no traffic to speak of, and always some great native flora and fauna.

SH35 from Opotiki to Waihau Bay - It's just a ribbon stuck to the coast between rocks, beaches, pohutakawas and hillsides. No glass, no pot holes, ever changing views and a real sense of remoteness. It is a road to savour.

Scenic Drive, Auckland - In the pre-dawn one can watch light creep over the city, see moths and insects, listen to the daylight dwelling forest members wake and not see a car for it's length. The climbs are frustrating, but enjoyable, not steep, not truly long, but relentless, and after ramp number X, if one has been silly and pushed too hard, can be gruesome. The winding shelter of the forest makes amends, and it's a truly satisfying loop from the city.

Woodcocks Road, Auckland - Hard to get to, not hard in a directional sense, but hard riding, Woodocks road is sublime. Scenery, surface, shelter and reward, it has it all.

So, there you have some of mine, tell me yours.

Of matters at hand

Last week I escaped the bonds of the city, an eastern migration that was a trifle too short. There has been a surfeit of precipitation in the Eastern Bay of Plenty, and I witnessed the effects as I drove - numerous slips, stop/go men, diggers scooping, water-logged paddocks and dirty rivers.

It wasn't all gloom though, the sun and it's warmth travelled with me.

At the top of the Maraenui Hill between Opotiki and Te Kaha was a particularly large slip dominating an already unstable piece of land. Today a decision was made by the appropriate authorities to close that piece of road indefinitely until a solution is found. It will return to single lane sometime in the near future, but will be sometime until it is fully opened. For residents of this area it is a major inconvenience, there is no other route than to go all the way around East Cape via Gisborne to get to Opotiki, approximately 440 kms. It's not a heavily travelled road, but it is a vital lifeline and the closure is a reminder of the remote nature of life in the Eastern Bay of Plenty and East Cape.

One of the pleasures, a guilty one maybe, is visiting Two Fish Cafe in Opotiki. It's always an unalloyed pleasure to visit. The coffee and food are as good as anywhere, and the service exceptional. As always I scoffed their Raspberry and Lemon slice, the perfect mix of sweetness and astringency. I also sampled their Ginger Crunch, extremely good, I'd wager that a Ginger Crunch expert would rate it highly.

Riding is challenging at best at the moment, this sodden August makes for a challenge, by my reckoning we have had 3 days in the last 30 with no rain at some stage of the day. Thankfully the instrument of terror in the garage has been getting a flogging, boring it may be, but it saves the outermost holes in my belt from getting worn.

As bad as we have had in Auckland, spare a thought for those who dwell in the Village of the Damned, Christchurch. On average both Christchurch and Auckland have a similar amount of sunshine hours in August (approx 110 hours). Auckland has had a miserable 83 hours, but the pasty thighed southerners have been cursed with 45 hours for the month, less than 2 hours per day. No wonder they relish being dour.

I'd recommend that they consider mini vibrators.

Salacious gossip.

I have on very good authority that the man who is one of the best boutique bike manufacturers in the world has undergone gender reassignment. This news comes to me, not from the horse's mouth, but from a very good customer and man who lives in her, previously his, area.

More strange food stuffs, following on from my musings about Parker's ability to ingest an oil slick mid-ride and have a ride named after him, I remembered some other strange mid-ride food ingestions I have witnessed.

To preserve the dignity of others, the parties concerned will remain nameless.

A longish ride up around Helensville, and Mysterex pulls from his pocket a tinfoil package. Unwraps the contents, a piece of cooked steak and proceeds to wolf it down.

Mysterex Two, when riding from Te Kaha to Tokomaru Bay (173 kilometres of beauty) carried a bacon and egg toasted sandwich from Te Araroa to Tokomaru Bay on a warm summer day, a distance of approximately 80 kilometres. 5 kilometres from the days end, there was a stoppage in the bunch due to a minor mechanical mishap, and Mysterex Two pulls his brown paper bag from his back pocket and eats solidly. Here he is pictured mid ingestion of said greasy, well-travelled thing.


Then there is this man - does he have a problem? Enough has been said elsewhere about this picture, but suffice to say, that he was generous with his scotch and I'd happily partake again.