'Tis the season...

It must be the stress of the festive season, but there has been some odd behaviour of late in the interweb.

This little contact popped up in my mail account this morning and started messaging me, so I tried the David Thorne approach, failed to be anywhere near as witty, but here it is in it's banal totality:-

jennyjbwrgirl: Hey

S: HI

jennyjbwrgirl: hiya sweety how r u...glad you finally messaged me!!!!

S: Ahhh, I didn't you messaged me.

jennyjbwrgirl: Was starting to think no body wanted to talk with me...So whatcha ya up to sweety?

S: Not much, just reading A Brief History of Time

jennyjbwrgirl: Im just hangin out..I have the place to myself, my roommie left on vacation for the week so I get to play around in my thong...lol

S: How do you play with one jandel?

jennyjbwrgirl: So what you wearin cutie?

S: A full latex suit with frilly manties

jennyjbwrgirl: I know we just met but im really turned on right now...Its just a little naughty fun on my camera...You UUP for it dude???

S: No, my dog is eating my shoes so not at the moment.

jennyjbwrgirl: k my cam is ran thru a chat network to keep the Yahoo kiddos away from me so dont worry if you dont have a web cam or yours won't work ok? I gotcha hooked up baby!

S: Will it be painful?

jennyjbwrgirl: K here's the link to my cam it's http://www.x.se/gduc go there and you should see me, accept the "free invite button" before it expires, I use this site so neither of us can be filmed

jennyjbwrgirl: ...?

S: I have twenty three scallops to cook right now, and a mouse that is chewing a hole in my baking, what do you think the most effective rat bait is?

jennyjbwrgirl: KK, put in your details,first and last name, make sure you write your right b-day k?

jennyjbwrgirl: Where did you go?

S: Will that provide me with a full detailed pest eradication programme, or does it require retraining to fit the suit correctly?

jennyjbwrgirl: credit card, debit, or ATM is to verify you're an adult...I had to do the same thing myself... cant show tits and pussy to children..you know?

S: I had an issue with my neighbours cat barfing all over my back deck, was dreadful. What is the best cleaning agent in these instances?

jennyjbwrgirl: k let me know when u get your username and password from the site and make sure you use that to sign in with and type it just like as they gave it to you with hyphens or whatever just make sure it lets you in

jennyjbwrgirl: Where did you go?

S: Sorry I was just chasing a feral animal of unknown providence from my kitchen, it smelt of glue and asthma inhalers. Do you think I should try and stop it escaping into the wild?

jennyjbwrgirl: ok u in yet babe??

S: The other day I caught two people picking apricots, what should I do?

jennyjbwrgirl: k when u login click on the second page, and I'm the pretty brunete! You will have to guess which one i am! ( I have a suprise for you)

S: A surprise, will it be donuts. I love donuts.

jennyjbwrgirl: I'm sure its pretty obvious who I am, hope you hurry!

jennyjbwrgirl: ...Hello?

S: I'm going as fast as I can, but my manacles are a trifle restricting

jennyjbwrgirl: Im still waiting for you talk to me in there, Im going to get off of my yahoo messenger so just message to me on that site :=} can't wait to show you what i have for a surpise

jennyjbwrgirl: Hello??

S: Superb, will it be a jigsaw? I need a new one.

S: Oh, and can you arrange for a chap to come and visit to repair the little hole left in the floorboards by the last visit from Bob the Pegleg?

She signed off...

Deeper Well

And so to the Women's race in the Rabodirect New Zealand Criterium Championships.

The Wrecking Ball

Friday night, Takapuna. Those who have read this far will know exactly what I'm referring to, and, I guess, the photos give it away. Great racing, excellent crowd and a superb course made for an spectacular evening's entertainment.

I was lucky enough to be able to photograph a lot of it, and over the next few days I will post up some galleries from the various races. Additionally, I will set up a site with several hundred images on it, from all the various grades. There you'll be able to see a multitude of war faces, pain and suffering, and if you so desire you can obtain that special image.

For all of those who competed, top effort, and thanks for the spectacle.

As a complete contrast, today several of us rode around the BCL, we were joined by Phil and a couple of others for the first time. It was a very pleasant ride in almost tropical conditions. Good for the soul, and made me forget for a while my aching upper body from the excesses of Friday evening. Once again, The Worm made me look average at the Godley Road Sprint.

The Randomator

On Saturday I took CTB west, no, not in a Pet Shop Boys type way, this was into the Western Marches to reveal to him some of the delights of new paths and territory that I have discovered of late. We noodled about and had a great ride.

I suspect that there will be a Summer Solstice ride in that area soon, and that there will be new cuss words and descriptive phrases coined on that particular day. I'd love to illuminate you all more with my first failure of the weekend, but that would give the game away, so will save it until after some others have experienced the monster that lurks out there.

My second failure of the weekend, now that was a true nightmare, and I have revisited the moment several times, and each time it has the same result.

On Sunday a couple of us headed out to chase Kingfish. It was a glorious day, and there was an abundance of fauna to observe. The kingies were about, but frustrating in their lack of appetite. We were serving up live Jack Mackerel, which were generally ignored. One did receive the rasp treatment from a king, several others were stolen with no hooking of the yellow tailed thieves.

A session with soft baits did bring in the only fish of the day, a glorious 70 cm snapper, caught by the skipper, Mr Ulmer. An utter monster of a fish, he was beautiful.

Then, while drifting some more live baits, my live bait was struck and the reel screamed. I leapt up and grabbed the rod from the holder. What happened next, entirely my own fault, was the stuff of noviceville and deserving of full mockery. I, in my haste, turned the clicker off and struck the fish hard. What I failed to do was engage the reel in gear. The reel spun rapidly, and in the blink of an eye was a mess of bird's nested monofilament.

Two of us struggled for what seemed to be an eternity, but was probably all of ten seconds, with the bird's nest, trying to get the reel working. Then the fish felt the hook and started accelerating. All I could do then was hang on, as the rod bent over, the line tightened and then snapped. What followed was silence from the skipper and a torrent of foul language from me.

While I ranted for a bit, then sulked with the rod and reel, the skipper looked at me with a mixture of disdain, amusement and pity, all well deserved. After a long time, I calmed, readied the gear for action again, and returned to the fray, but the quarry was long gone.

It was the one that got away. Next time...