Friday, December 24, 2010

'Tis the season...


It must be the stress of the festive season, but there has been some odd behaviour of late in the interweb.

This little contact popped up in my mail account this morning and started messaging me, so I tried the David Thorne approach, failed to be anywhere near as witty, but here it is in it's banal totality:-

jennyjbwrgirl: Hey
S: HI
jennyjbwrgirl: hiya sweety how r u...glad you finally messaged me!!!!
S: Ahhh, I didn't you messaged me.
jennyjbwrgirl: Was starting to think no body wanted to talk with me...So whatcha ya up to sweety?
S: Not much, just reading A Brief History of Time
jennyjbwrgirl: Im just hangin out..I have the place to myself, my roommie left on vacation for the week so I get to play around in my thong...lol
S: How do you play with one jandel?
jennyjbwrgirl: So what you wearin cutie?
S: A full latex suit with frilly manties
jennyjbwrgirl: I know we just met but im really turned on right now...Its just a little naughty fun on my camera...You UUP for it dude???
S: No, my dog is eating my shoes so not at the moment.
jennyjbwrgirl: k my cam is ran thru a chat network to keep the Yahoo kiddos away from me so dont worry if you dont have a web cam or yours won't work ok? I gotcha hooked up baby!
S: Will it be painful?
jennyjbwrgirl: K here's the link to my cam it's http://www.x.se/gduc go there and you should see me, accept the "free invite button" before it expires, I use this site so neither of us can be filmed
jennyjbwrgirl: ...?
S: I have twenty three scallops to cook right now, and a mouse that is chewing a hole in my baking, what do you think the most effective rat bait is?
jennyjbwrgirl: KK, put in your details,first and last name, make sure you write your right b-day k?
jennyjbwrgirl: Where did you go?
S: Will that provide me with a full detailed pest eradication programme, or does it require retraining to fit the suit correctly?
jennyjbwrgirl: credit card, debit, or ATM is to verify you're an adult...I had to do the same thing myself... cant show tits and pussy to children..you know?
S: I had an issue with my neighbours cat barfing all over my back deck, was dreadful. What is the best cleaning agent in these instances?
jennyjbwrgirl: k let me know when u get your username and password from the site and make sure you use that to sign in with and type it just like as they gave it to you with hyphens or whatever just make sure it lets you in
jennyjbwrgirl: Where did you go?
S: Sorry I was just chasing a feral animal of unknown providence from my kitchen, it smelt of glue and asthma inhalers. Do you think I should try and stop it escaping into the wild?
jennyjbwrgirl: ok u in yet babe??
S: The other day I caught two people picking apricots, what should I do?
jennyjbwrgirl: k when u login click on the second page, and I'm the pretty brunete! You will have to guess which one i am! ( I have a suprise for you)
S: A surprise, will it be donuts. I love donuts.
jennyjbwrgirl: I'm sure its pretty obvious who I am, hope you hurry!
jennyjbwrgirl: ...Hello?
S: I'm going as fast as I can, but my manacles are a trifle restricting
jennyjbwrgirl: Im still waiting for you talk to me in there, Im going to get off of my yahoo messenger so just message to me on that site :=} can't wait to show you what i have for a surpise
jennyjbwrgirl: Hello??
S: Superb, will it be a jigsaw? I need a new one.
S: Oh, and can you arrange for a chap to come and visit to repair the little hole left in the floorboards by the last visit from Bob the Pegleg?

She signed off...

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