Nelson and me!

As it turned out, last weekend was a weekend for the crashes.

The opening shot was from the Onanator himself, Mikeal, when he tangled with an errant steer in Totara Park, while MTBing. He claims there were two cattle beasts, and one went right, and anticipated the other to go left, but it defied him and went right also. Net result, Mikeal hit said beast, beast runs off, Mikeal has a lie-down sans some dermis from above his left knee. When I saw the wound on Sunday, it looked like an oversized and badly placed carpet burn, but that's just idle speculation.

Next up was my graceless grass/shoulder interaction.

Then on Sunday, Junior had a pretty heavy fall on a very greasy road near Taupaki. His helmet was wrecked in the crash, but his noggin and neck are fine. Apart from other bruising, his index finger isn't too flash and is now taped to his finger more commonly used for flicking the bird.

Del Woodford also crashed in the event he organised on Sunday. From what I understand, he also crashed without the aid of a fellow cyclist.

Del's crash is rumoured to have given CTB cause for thought, and he has come up with an award for the silliest or most inept crash. Once bestowed, it's the recipient's until someone else performs a greater act of stupidity. Apparently the name and story behind it are somewhat rude. It also looked like Del was set to grab the title, until CTB heard of my Saturday act. I'm claiming showmanship in my defence.

Additionally, I have been roundly mocked and laughed at, not without just cause I may add, but the mocking started within 30 minutes of the breakage, with a crack about it still being two weeks until opening weekend. (I'll explain that shortly) Then there was the assorted laughter of all and sundry. Add the daily humiliation on the walk to and from school from the assorted school mothers. Not to be missed was the use of me for Show and Tell by my progeny, his teacher being most amused. I'm certain now that in various households around the Balmoral area, I'm being held up as a cautionary tale.

Truth be told, I'm loving the attention, I just need to find a better way to attract it.

Now, back to the Opening Weekend remark. This came from a chap, who last year, broke his shoulder falling off a sofa on Opening Day of the duck shooting season. It just so happened that the sofa was in the back of a ute. The ute was driving down a gravel road, and he stood up to moon a local. The ute served and he was ejected roadwards. Skin loss and broken shoulder ensued. At least now, he can say, without a word of a lie, he did it falling off a sofa. I need to concoct a similar euphemism to cover my stupidity.

Suggestions welcome.