Avoid the clown

Now for something serious and sensible. This subject is a bit of a hobby horse for me.

As any of you who ride with me for any length of time learn that I love riding in a bunch, can be bossy, like to know where I'm going, am interested in safety and general enjoyment and that I don't have a great deal of time for riding in traffic or busy roads.

The bunch ride is a great way to cover miles easily, enjoy some company, meet other riders and improve your riding. It’s a great leveller of abilities meaning that a vast range of talents and fitness can ride and train together enjoyably.

What is important is that in any bunch ride there are a number of explicit (stated and known) and implicit (taken for granted) rules. Explicit rules are things like the route, start time, pace, regrouping points, etc.

The implicit rules apply to all riders and every bunch ride and should be obeyed at all times. They are part courtesy and part safety, they are what enable a bunch to act as a single cohesive unit.

These implicit rules are:

1. Half wheeling – This is where one rider in the lead pair rides consistently with their brakehood, handlebar, front wheel or, worst case, bike ahead of the other rider they are supposed to be riding beside. Don’t do it! Simple as that, it’s rude and inconsiderate, you should ride with brakehoods level with your paired partner. If they are struggling to match your pace, ease up and ride at theirs.

2. Consideration to other road users – This is a no brainer, but it constantly amazes me how many riders fail to show any consideration for other road users. If it’s a busy/narrow road ride single file to allow traffic to pass. Holding up other road users will only infuriate them and make them less likely to display any consideration for cyclists in future. There is also a duty for the riders at the back of the bunch to inform the riders forward of them when there is a car or truck behind waiting to get past. Particularly on narrow or winding roads calling out alerts others in the bunch and everyone can move to single file easing the passing maneuvere for the motorist. The bunch can reform once the vehicle has passed. Remember it’s SHARE the road.

3. Road rules – Obey them. If you’re on the front of the bunch don’t tow the bunch through orange/red lights, do stop at pedestrian crossings.

4. Pairing up – Always pair up with another rider, don’t sit riding as a single in the middle of a bunch. All this does is mean that one of the following pair of riders gets no benefit from the draft. Once a bunch has started, usually the reformation happens after a climb. If you find yourself unpaired either move forward if you can see another unpaired rider or drift to the outside and back of the bunch. Don’t be afraid to ride beside someone you don’t know, say gidday, they won’t bite. Also don't ride 3 abreast, sillier than a bum full of smarties.

5. Pointing out hazards – There is an obligation for riders at the front to point out hazards on the road (potholes, gravel, glass, etc). At the very least pointing out the hazard is the minimum, this should also be passed down the bunch. It is a remarkably unpleasant experience to be riding along and have your front wheel disappear into a pothole. At best you’ll get a wrist snapping jolt, worst can be a crash. Pointing out glass on the road can save the aggravation of punctures. If you do ride into glass, don't serve suddenly, ride through it - a puncture is small cheese to crashing, bringing others down and the associated bark loss.

6. Bunch safety (aerobars and rocket launcher bottle holders) – Anyone who knows me knows that I would rather wear knee high walk socks than fit these to my bike, but some riders to have valid reasons for using them and training with them. So if you’re one of those riders a couple of valid points, don’t ride your aerobars in the bunch, use them when it’s your turn on the front (if you have to use them remember the half wheel and pointing out hazards rules). If you have rocket launcher bottle cages make sure that they can hold their bottles and that you can get the bottle back in with ease. A dropped bottle can easily lead to a crash for following riders.

7. Flat tyres/ mechanicals/ mishaps – These all happen, the bunch should stop and, where appropriate, lend a hand. Riders also have a responsibility to ensure that their bike is reliable, they have decent tyres on in good condition and they have spare tubes. Going for the mileage record for tyre wear is not a practise that should be part of bunch rides, the constant punctures that are part of such attempts will lose you riding partners faster than BO and Tourettes.

8. Choose a bunch that matches your ability – nothing is worse than the café racer who wrecks a ride by riding at a pace that shreds the bunch and leaves a trail of gasping victims. Don't be that clown.

9. If you are the route planner for the bunch, you are responsible for everyone's safety, choose your routes carefully, avoid areas of conflict with other road users as much as possible. Generally speaking there are a variety of roads available to ride on , and some of them will be a helluva a lot safer than others. Choose them, they are more fun to ride, safer and a lot less stressful.

By using these simple rules the bunch will be an enjoyable, fun place to be and don’t be afraid to remind other riders of these rules and their obligations to others in the bunch.