Sand

This is a typical conversation between Jorge the Annoying and myself about finding the right saddle.

From: Jorge
To: Me
Sent: Tuesday, 8 September, 2009 12:46:53 PM
Subject: Where the stink meets the road

I'm continuing on my search for the perfect saddle. Now I'm thinking I
want to try SSM's new Regale and maybe Selle Italia's Turbo. I had
a Turbo long ago, but I don't remember it. I think that means it worked
for me. The new Regale has much smaller rivets that are black, so it
doesn't look like a Brooks wannabe. Plus the Regale looks like it could
coddle my peaches they way I like. The Fizik Antares looks like it could
be an option, but I think the Fizik folks were in the middle of a big
methamphetamine binge when they came up with their pricing. Today's a holiday
in the US... Labor Day it is. Since I had the day off from school,
I've done absolutely nothing but sleep, eat, surf porn, and eat. I have
wiped my butt twice.

-----Original Message-----
From:Me
Sent: Mon 9/7/2009 22:28
To: Jorge
Subject: Re: Where the stink meets the road

To me there is only one saddle. Selle Italia SLR, others have come close, but
that's been me for the last 7 or 8 years.
I've stripped and recovered a couple as well. Tristan has a brown suede one of
mine, which he loves.
I do like the Regale, but my ass and SLRs are a match made in heaven.

Holiday, smoldiday.
I knocked out 75kms this morning, mainly in the dark, left home at 4.30 and was
in fog and cold for most of the ride.
I'm getting frisky.


-----Original Message-----
From:Jorge
To: Me
Sent: Tuesday, 8 September, 2009
7:05:37 PM
Subject: RE: Where the stink meets
the road

The SLR is an ass hatchet. It's no wonder you like it.


-----Original Message-----
From: Me
Sent: Tuesday, September 08, 2009
1:16 AM
To: Jorge
Subject: Re: Where the stink meets
the road

I beg to differ, that title goes to the Turbo, riding
one of those was like having Frankenstein's monster as a proctologist.


-----Original Message-----
From: Jorge
To: Me
Sent: Wednesday, 9 September, 2009 3:04:47 AM
Subject: RE: Where the stink meets the road


And that is one of seven reasons why New Zealand has never been a superpower nor has ever pushed the nuclear clock
to within three minutes of nuclear midnight. Such plebians. The two weeks I spent trying an SLR, I was forced to always ride with anesthesiologist
such was the pain caused to my softer bits. Weeks after I gave up, six cyclists were
tragically killed when they tried to ride beyond the four mile limit imposed by
the SLR.

And if your ignorance weren't
already as plain as Mikeal's
dried spooge on his own forehead, everyone knows, and
experts agree, that Doc Frankenstein's monster had unusually dainty, soft
fingers.


-----Original Message-----
From: Me
Sent: Tue 9/8/2009 14:44
To: Jorge
Subject: Re: Where the stink meets the road

Your reasonings are why there's such a thing as the Big Mac. It's all down to the fact that ignoring a bit of puritan pain is good for the soul and one's moral fibre. Being unable to cope with the odd hair shirt that is part of daily life leads to flabby society, and deeper still, flabby saddles.
Next time you see an ass, that should have it's own moon, riding a bike, take careful note of the saddle. I will wager my firstborn's right to pick his nose, that the saddle you see it not an SLR, or even a Rolls. It will be a soft, spongey buttock spreader.

The Monster may well have had soft and dainty fingers, but his dexterity was akin to Stephen Hawkings. Neither of whom would you want wearing latex gloves and probing your personage.



And there ended the dialogue. I'd wager good money that Jorge is now riding something with a sheepskin cover.